Growing up is hard to do

Posted By on February 10, 2009

I’m trying to mediate between a friend who does a lot of work around our house and the rest of my family. He copped an attitude toward my oldest daughter and her boyfriend, spreading nasty rumors about them and the boyfriend’s parents. God know divorce is ugly, but there’s no cause to make it uglier, let alone shame the kids even more, but that’s what’s happening.

It came to a head in an argument between him and my wife when he, according to her, unloaded with the rumors after she asked him why he’d been so cold. She called me in tears asking me to come home after the blowout. Meanwhile, he’s done painting our family room and building a demi-closet off the kitchen, a good idea he came up with before this latest strain. Once that’s done, that might be the end of our relationship.

What’s sad about this is how it proves it’s all in the perception. There’s a closeness to the kids’ relationship that’s easy to inflate and distort; it’s crowded me at times. But it also seems genuine, if young; undying love of the kind they profess tends to mature and become more realistic. As for my state, it’s become more depressed. I fear we’ll lose the affection of a guy who really cared for my daughters when they were kids but, like some other adults in our circle, doesn’t seem to know how to grow up with them as they grow up.

Being an adult is hard. Being a parent is harder. God knows what being a kid feels like.


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